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Children - Again a Trap

  Children  My children are like my own arms, Parts of my body, fragments of my mind. When something hurts them, It pierces me —from the inside out. I have expectations of myself. I extend them to my children. "Don’t expect," they say— But my mind doesn’t listen. They don’t follow my expectations— Why should they? They are their own people. With their own wants, needs, lives. Their paths don’t mirror mine. Yet every deviation from my hopes Drains me— Like life being pulled out by unseen hands. Arguments cut deeper than words. Disagreements shake my foundation. Sometimes, I just want to run away. Not out of anger—out of exhaustion. I don’t want them clinging to me. I don’t want to cling to them. Let them live. Let me breathe. Let us both be free—separately. But I only find peace When I know they’re doing well. If they’re not… My mind spirals again. Tangled in worry, guilt, helplessness. Children—they’re love and burden. A gift. A trap. I can’t bear to s...

Life - A noose

 Life feels like a noose Tightens and tightens Making breathing difficult  Then it eases for a short while Again tightens more than before It's a trap, there's no escape Can't live can't die Just go through the grind With every ounce of what I have It's the toughest journey  Everything seems like a myth An impossible dream There's no love  Even kids seem like they'll strangle me They struggling itself also tightens the noose Around my neck Colleagues, parents, children, relatives Everyone presses one or the other nerve Still continuing with this life Breathing, sleeping, eating Gosh this is insane I'm tired and would want a happy space Forever and never come back  To anyone I know Never want to wake up from death Let the whole world go to hell  Let it rot and burn as I bid good bye Never ever to see anyone again
  Indifference I’m indifferent to almost everything— The chaos, the joy, the rising sun. What happens out there… Feels like a show I never bought tickets for. The smiles, the cries, the sheer exuberance Of others just being— Passes through me, Like wind through hollow trees. Only when it touches me Or my children— Does this shell stir, Does the static crack. There’s a weight inside— Not made of pain, But non-expression — Thoughts that stayed too long, And rotted quietly in the corners of my mind. Insensitivity grew. Empathy faded. Now, indifference is all I know. The rest— Feeling, caring, acting— Feels like a mountain too steep, So I just… Sleep. Binge. Scroll. Repeat. And the soul— Dies slowly. Without even screaming.
Jhing Jhing Jhing Jhing jhing jhing jhing jhing jhing jhing And so my heart goes—when there’s nothing to think, Nothing to say, no one to talk to. Yet the mind—it craves, it clings, Demands a rope to swing, Like a monkey chasing echoes in an empty ring. So I sing— Jhing jhing jhing And my stupid mind grabs hold with glee, As if this noise could set me free. I wish— I wish I could turn the mind away, Make it forget I even exist today. Let only the good self stay to see— And slowly work… towards a better me.
The Binge Cycle Eat, eat, eat— Even when full, full, full. To feel worse, worse, worse— And drown in guilt, guilt, guilt. Gain weight, weight, weight— Feel more bad, bad, bad. Sleep, sleep, sleep— To forget, forget, forget. Until tomorrow breaks again— And you eat, eat, eat. When will this cycle break? Wait Wait & Wait.....
A Solitary Climb Friendship stays, till joy remains, Then silence echoes in empty lanes. Once lost, no soul can trace your spark, It’s your lone walk through the dark. How often have your thoughts betrayed, A war within, where hope has frayed. Yet each fall etched a silent plea, To stand again, to try, to be. Now I see—your fire’s grown thin, To rise again feels locked within. Where are the friends you hoped would stay, The ones you dreamed would light your way? Where are your anchors, strong and true, When every tide now pulls from you? Stranded in a sea, no stars above, No guiding hand, no touch of love. Hopeless, yes—but not yet gone, Still waiting for the break of dawn. A silent prayer beneath the weight, For just one spark to challenge fate. Courtesy: My thoughts plus some help from AI